I'm hoping he will come out with a 40 minute version of this. Suffering through that would make the next cross race seem like a cruise through the park.
As a cyclocross newb - I have felt the necessity of doing some much-needed research on the topic of cyclocross history to elevate my overall appreciation of the sport. Subsequently, I've wondered if some of you might not be interested in my findings. Of course, many of you will already be familiar with this information, to which I say, ignore this post and focus your attention here instead if you are of the male persuasion and here if you are of the female persuasion. (That is, if you are of the heterosexual variety of each persuasion. If you are persuaded to do the opposite, follow your instincts accordingly.) But instead of just blathering off a bunch of facts and dates, I thought I would present the information in pop-quiz format so that you might test your own working cyclocross knowledge. Let's get it on:
#1) This question has three parts: Who is this? How tall was he? What is his significance in the world of cyclocross?
a) Pierre Floutard; 5'7", In 1957 he lost a testicle in a freak accident while remounting his steel Raleigh during the first Cyclocross World Championships. It was found 3 days later but all attempts to surgically reattach it were unsuccessful.
b) Jean Robic; 5', Winner of the first UCI cyclocross championship in 1950
c) Rudy Project; 5'3", Founder of the famous cycling eyewear company and inventor of the male version of the cat-eye glasses popularized by women in the 50's
d) Dominic Gaston; 5'11", Infamous cross racer who suffered from nyctolopia, he died during Belgian's first night race when he crashed into a bratwurst vendor.
#2) What is cyclist Danny De Bie credited for in cyclocross racing?
a) In 1988 during a race in Leipzig, instead of jumping over an 18" barrier, he decided to tunnel under it. Even though he lost the race, he was awarded the course-gardener's shovel for ingenuity.
b) To date, he is the only racer to have ever gotten lost during a race. During his 1987 bid for World Champion in Lucerne, he never completed a single lap during the 60 minute race and had to be escorted from a muddy ditch by course marshals.
c) He is credited for popularizing the "bunnyhop" maneuver to go over barriers which he used while winning the 1989 World Championship.
d) Nicknamed "Bye-Bye De Bie", Danny famously quit the Dutch National Championship race in 1988 after only 5 minutes of racing when he threw his bicycle off the course and exclaimed, "Niet meer fucking koebels!" (translastion: "No more fucking cowbells!")
#3) Identify this individual:
a) Hanka Kupfernagel; The woman with the most medals in cyclocross ever with a total of 10, 4 of which have been World Championships.
b) Greta Klink; Designer of the first knee-high stiletto cycling boot which was later disallowed by the UCI when racer Heidi Potente perforated a component's spleen when she stepped on the fallen cyclist while hurdling a barrier.
c) Hans Guber; After his sex change in 2003, he/she became the first racer to win a national championship in both the male and female fields.
d) Elsie Schmittsohn; Watched a cyclocross race once on TV in 2008.
#4) Who is this and what important achievement is he credited with?
a) Federico Capitano; Italian cyclocross racer who attempted to file a patent for a style of moustache which he called, "Il manubrio". He was unsuccessful in this bid as it had been patented the previous year by one Otto Schlitz of Hamburg. However, he later designed and patented the moustache "comb-over", for those who can only successfully grow hair on one side of their lip, giving tens of thousands of men with semi-bald lips greater senses of confidence.
b) Gustav Mendlebaum; designer of the cycling cable-knit turtle neck sweater and later co-founder of J. Crew.
c) Peter Mathews; the only British cyclist to have had his dentition considered to be "not horrendous" by a panel of orthodontists.
d) Octave Lapize; winner of the 2010 Tour de France who credited his victory to off-season riding through fields, believed by many to be the inspiration for present day cyclocross.
#5) What other profession is cyclocross racer Katerina Nash known for?
a) Editor in chief of "Modest Cycling Magazine"
b) Olympic cross country skier
c) Taste-tester for Luna Bars
d) Owner of 3 Hooter's restaurants outside of Salt Lake City, Utah
#6) Bonus question: What was professional cross racer Zdenek Stybar's claim to fame in 2006 at the Netherland National Cyclocross Championships in Zeddam?
a) He had an allergic reaction to some oysters he ate the night before the race in his hotel causing his face to break out in a flurry of pustules...
b) After one week of solid rain preceeding the race, the entire course turned to mud, which prompted him to become the only cyclist in the history of the sport to attempt portaging his bicycle and running for the entire race. He lost his shoe on lap 3, however and had to abandon.
c) After heavy fog had been predicted for race day, he feared the same fate as Danny De Bie in getting lost out on the course and shaved the race map into the side of his head the night before for quick reference, only later realizing he would not actually be able to see the map without the help of a mirror.
d) He won the cyclocross U23 National Championships in 2006.
You may submit your answers to me and I will grade them.