Weekend pre-race report

I'm suspending Friday mail this week to offer up a special weekend preview for what is happening home and abroad in the world of professional road cycling. I know you can read this stuff on better sources - but I'm so excited about it I can't keep myself from mentioning the jam-packed two day cyclorgasmic experience that is about to occur....I only wish I could make like a waffle, slather myself in maple syrup and be Belgian for a couple of days....

Volta Ciclista a Catalunya (Spain):  This race will wrap up Sunday.  In case you didn't hear, Jens Voigt (also known as the Chuck Norris of the peloton) won stage 4 yesterday. 

When Jens races, he remains still, but actually spins the entire earth beneath his wheels.

Redlands Bicycle Classic (California): Kicked off yesterday with Ben Day and Amber Nebe winning the men's and women's time trial prologues respectively.  It will continue through the weekend. Day is having a good year so far and is off to a strong showing in a race that also is the debut of Floyd Landis' return to racing as a member of the Bahati Foundation team.

When the hell did Bahati hire former rocker Daryl Hall of Hall and Oates?

E3 Prijs Vlaanderen-Harelbeke (Belgium - Saturday): 203 kilometers that traverse 12 hellingen (which is Belgian for wicked-ass hill that makes you wish your mommy hadn't met your daddy) 6 of which are cobbled and have names like the Eikenberg, the Stationsberg and the Taainberg.  There is one lonely American racing in this one:  John Murphy of BMC, National Crit Champion and former racer for Ouch MAXXIS.  Get you some - Murph!

Gent-Wevelgem (Belgium - Sunday):  It's all new this year - having moved from a mid-week time slot to a weekend running.  It's also longer - 219 km instead of 203 km featuring 16 hills.  The best parts of this one?  Three things: #1) Big George Hincapie is riding it and is hungry for a classic, #2) Murphy is doing double cobbled duty and riding this one too and #3) The Kemmelberg!

Criterium International (Corsica - Saturday and Sunday): I know, I know - without Jens there, is it even really worth even having?  HOWEVER, we do get to see a potential douchetastic menage-a-trois in the the Lance, Alberto, Cadel three-way.  And there is going to be a real mountain and real mountain top finish:  The Col de l'Ospedale!

You can catch this one on Versus both Saturday and Sunday 2:30-4:00 PM ET.

Oh, by the way - if the only reason you tune in to his blog on Fridays is on the off chance of seeing a hot woman on a bicycle let me say this.....1) you should be ashamed of yourself, and 2) we are not that kind of a blog.  We actually have a mind too, which we wish you would learn to appreciate....As punishment - you should go wash your bike!  Just like these cyclists are doing!